The Pakistani nation has gone deaf, blind, maimed and retarded. Its not a bad thing because thats what we teach our young in schools and in community to aspire to. This is what we actually wanted. And the funny thing is that we still try to pretend to understand whats going down - as if we still have a sliver of sanity not touched by the perpetual amnesia that plagues us all. The inconsistencies of our selves are obvious, reiterated and reaffirmed each day. Just so that we can make believe that they are normal and that our identity is not based on a lie.
I recently had the privilege to attend a weekend gathering of students from 70 something nations. Quiet an astounding experience in many regards. Humbling and Grand and yet at the same time warm and accepting, intelligent and vibrant. However these were the assumptions that were already there even before any of us had even set foot inside the space that was to be our home for the next two days. So I cant really be sure how intelligent or accepting we actually are. Our activities and conversations very also usually not directed towards deeper meaning or the truths of life. But we all played our parts really well and ostensibly what we expected was what we witnessed through our interaction.
This created a small dimension which had it limits in the extremes of positive. That is to say it was as sincere as the most sincere person among us, as wild as the wildest, as ambitious as the craziest dream any of us had. It was a fictional place that could not exist out of its context and was only there because its dissolve had already been planed. And this is where I start thinking of whats under the surface.
“I still remember his tears. As he asked everyone he possibly knew to help him raise the money for his child’s tuition at school. He had not eaten in 2 days. He had no house. But he had a bigger heart than I have ever come across. All he had was a piece of land on which he wanted to make a future house. He offered it to me after we had become friends having found out that I was having financial problems. I know many would roll their eyes saying he knew I was not going to accept the offer. But I remember his face and his eyes. More honest than mine. He would have backed his word no matter how hard it would have been, had I but asked for it. It takes a lot to reach that level of sincerity. I would die for a friend like that. And I would happily snatch those rolling eyeballs out of their sockets so that they are never able to look down on anyone again.”—Aleph Laam Meem
“Once again there this attempt to create something divine…something that tracends me…that transcends what it is to be human…something that will be hard for time to travel across…even though compared to a grander scale of events perhaps even this all such things and more can be taken in a stride…but even so it is greater than we are?…Its our resistance that we show to time..our natural enemy…we all have to leave our marks…we dont exactly know who for cause its certainly not ourselves…for we will not be here…but its a comfort to know that you gave time a good kick in the shins when it was trying to erase you…tough you probably broke your toes but thats little loss to an already fadding being…our struggle againt time does not alloe for comfort anyway…so whats a little more pain?…atleast it makes those earlier times look better doesnt it…so we have to create…we have to give that kick…to try and become divine…to erase ourselves…cause who creates does not live his creation but only pours into it…we are not gods…even though we would bear everything just to be like them…forget ourselves…so am planning to do the same…i may even fail to capture his image let alone his quality…but then again only a few die an honourable death…its the price we pay i guess…but i have to do it…cause thats the only way i have been taught to live…and now i am afraid its too late…i have to come out of this stupor…land my blow…have to become become stronger…i need to suffer…i need to die with my false honor pinned to my kafan…i want my merit badge…”—Aleph Laam Meem